For years now, my friends and I have made birthday lists of what we learned in the past year. I'm a little late, but I had my birthday recently, and I finally got around to making a list.
1. How to plan a wedding
2. How to resolve conflicts with my wife faster (especially about inane things like napkin colors at our wedding)
3. How to submit smut!
4. How to get smut rejected
5. How to get smut published (and get paid for it!)
6. How to get into grad school
7. How to go to grad school
8. How to work full-time AND be a grad student (the secret is doing everything less perfectly than I'd like)
9. That I need to write
10. That sometimes I have depression and that is something I have to work with
11. How to become a book reviewer (ask, be willing to do it for free books)
12. A lot about my family that I'm not sharing on the internet, but that is hugely helpful for me personally
13. A lot of nerdy academic stuff for school that I'm not sharing on this blog, but that is really interesting and I could talk about until your eyes glaze over
14. That I am, forever, such a good student
15. Some rather personal sexy things that I won't share directly but I probably will fictionalize and write about
16. That you really should do your eye make-up before your foundation. Thank g-d for practicing wedding make-up before my actual wedding.
17. That I'm in a transitional state with my friendships, as I made most of my current friends when I was much less busy, much less settled, and much more available for endless rounds of dissecting the motives of various baffling dates and/or being an unpaid editor. Now that my life has changed, I probably need to make some changes in my social circle too
18. That I really mostly just want to write the sex scenes, the queer love stories, and not the "serious" fiction that I always thought I'd write
19. A lot about my day job
20. To leave work at work. I have an emotionally demanding job, and I can't carry that home (thanks to my wife for insisting on this)
21. How to read tarot cards
22. How to fundraise
23. To take a walk on my break, even if it's just 10 minutes
24. How to make a business plan
25. That I don't want the career I thought I did
26. What career I do want (writing genre fiction, doing the work I'm doing now but less of it and in a different way)
27. That I can actually do that (thanks especially to a wonderful professor for saying that your Master's degree opens doors, not closes them, and that there's more to do in this field than just what you first think of, and then giving some specific examples of variations that I'm really interested in)
28. How to get a new job
29. How to hold my own like a boss in meetings where people are trying to be intimidating
30. How to be married. It's a lot like living with your girlfriend for years, except everyone takes it more seriously, you get a juicer and some lovely legal rights about your life together, and (sometimes) you feel like you have conflict-resolution super powers because of all that practice you got ironing things out when you were fighting about napkin colors
A queer femme, writing romance and smut.